Alright, you have had a horrible day. Your boss was a jerk. Your coworkers didn’t have your back. And the traffic was backed up for miles. Your daughter has been texting you for the last half hour asking where you are, wanting to know what’s for dinner, and casually mentioning that she is annoyed that you didn’t make her hair appointment yet.
YOU ARE ON YOUR LAST NERVE.
As soon as you walk in the door, everyone wants your attention including the muddy dog who is jumping all over you. You’ve kept it together all day but now you lose your cool.
YOU SNAP AND START YELLING AT YOUR SPOUSE AND YOUR KIDS AND EVEN THE DOG.
This is normal to not always be in control, but the snapping at people you love because you are stressed can be avoided. It’s about getting in touch with your feelings and needs before trying to tend to others. Your kids are watching how you handle these stressed out moments.
YOU ARE HER PRIMARY ROLE MODEL
Now let’s rewind and try that again. Before you walk in the door, take a few breaths, slow down your heart rate, and calm your sympathetic nervous system. In other words…
GET YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL.
When you walk in the door, you will be able to calmly tell your family what is going on. Let them know that your day was terrible, the traffic was terrible, and you are a bit overwhelmed. Let them know that you need a couple of minutes to decompress, and then you’ll be ready to field their questions and help them with their needs.
YOU JUST SHOWED YOUR TEEN HOW TO VOICE HER NEEDS.
This is a life skill that can be used in so many settings: work, school, peer relationships, romantic relationships. Voicing what you need is a way to set boundaries, to set limits, and to feel empowered.
IT’S NOT AN EASY THING TO LEARN BUT YOU ARE GOING TO BE A GREAT TEACHER.
YOU GOT THIS!
With Heart,
Coach Sheri
P.S. Think about all of the things you are role modeling to your teen. Are there any things that you might want to change?
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