THERE’S A REASON THEY PUT WHEELS ON SUITCASES.
THEY ARE CUMBERSOME AND CAN WEIGH YOU DOWN.
As you go through life, you collect things along the way. You have mementos sitting on your shelves, books filling your bedside table, and clothes stuffed in your closet. You also have stories and experiences tucked away in your mind and soul.
JUST LIKE A HEAVY SUITCASE, YOUR EXPERIENTIAL BAGGAGE CAN WEIGH YOU DOWN.
You need to be really careful about how you deal with your baggage, because it can have a profound affect on your parenting reactions, responses, and choices.
EXPERIENCES WE’VE GONE THROUGH IN LIFE INFLUENCE HOW WE PARENT.
Your stories and your past create a filtered lens of how you view things including how you see the behaviors of your teen. If you were a wild teen, you might assume that your teen is making some wild choices too. If you lied a lot in high school, you might be suspicious of your teen’s explanations for things. If you were a rule follower as a teen, you might be overly trusting of your teen. It’s important to focus on what is right in front of you and push away any assumptions based on your filter.
“IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, MOM.”
When your teen talks to you about something going on, make sure you don’t make it all about you. Teens tell me that they don’t like it when their parents say “I went through that too” and then proceed to tell a 30-minute story about their own childhood. It can be good to briefly tell a story to show that you understand, but only after you listen to your daughter’s issue.
YOUR STORIES CREATE YOUR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS.
It happens from time to time that your daughter will tell you about something she is dealing with and you find yourself getting very emotional. That’s likely because you can relate to that feeling. You understand it because you’ve gone through that situation. It might be about something you haven’t thought about in years.
WORK ON YOUR OWN STORY WITH FELLOW ADULTS.
As your daughter makes her journey from child to adult, it is quite common for old memories to come flooding back to you. It’s important that you work through the emotions that come up. Turn to a friend, a loved one, or a therapist to talk about your newly resurfaced memories. It will help you bring compassion and calm to the table in your parenting.
UNPACK YOUR BAGS, REMINISCE, AND LIGHTEN THE LOAD.
YOU GOT THIS!
With Heart,
Coach Sheri
P.S. The first session of the virtual retreat is all about unpacking your baggage and your story. Join us at http://tinyurl.com/MomWiseRetreat
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