For teens, hanging with the extended family during holidays is not all it’s cracked up to be. Teens would usually prefer to lounge around, catch up with friends, and stare at a screen. However, they often have piles of homework, are forced to catch up on chores, don’t get to see their friends much, have a very mixed-up sleep schedule, and have a LOT of family time (not always a teen’s top priority). And those large family gatherings can sometimes be very stressful, especially for teens in high school. Uncles ask about SAT scores. Grandmothers inquire about college plans. Cousins ask about boyfriends/girlfriends. Grandfathers ask if you have a job. It’s a lot of questions for a teenager who most likely doesn’t have it all figured out.
If your teen doesn’t mind answering all of these questions, then let them shine. If they don’t love all the questions, be understanding and give them guidance on how to respectfully handle the questions.
Prepare them with these canned responses that can get their life out of the spotlight. Of course, they should all be said politely and kindly when possible.
- I really don’t want to talk about school while I’m on my break. I’m happy to be on break.
- I’m not sure yet.
- Still deciding.
- I don’t know. Hey, have you seen [name of movie] yet?
- Let’s change the subject. What are you up to these days?
Keep an eye on your teen throughout your large family gatherings. If they are getting bombarded with questions, you might intervene and give them an out. Allow them to bring their electronics or books but agree on a designated amount of time they can be used. After all, family time is limited and is important.
If you know that your teen gets really overwhelmed during big gatherings, come up with a plan ahead of time. When they need a break, give them a few choices: 15 minutes on their phone, 20 minutes outside, 30 minutes in a quiet room.
As you enjoy your family festivities loaded down with pies and diving into the turkey, crack a few jokes and cherish the moment. Your teens are only teens for a few precious years.
With Heart,
Coach Sheri
