by guest blogger, Lindsey Wander, Founder & CEO of WorldWise Tutoring
With Shelter in Place mandates, our homes also became our families’ offices and schools and we became our children’s primary instructors. For many of us, it was painfully clear that our children are not as self-motivated and self-directed as we hoped. As hybrid/remote learning is becoming a more and more likely scenario for the fall and winter term, now is the perfect time to help our children grow into more confident and independent learners. This will not only make the upcoming school year much easier, but will set your child up for success throughout school and in life.
Here are some specific strategies for how you can foster confidence and independence in your child at any age.
Increase their CONFIDENCE:
- Use positive body language such as smiling, making direct eye contact, listening intently, and assisting when needed.
- Employ the “I Do, We Do, You Do” method to gradually move children from adult-led lessons to guided examples to student-centered independent work. Start by demonstrating how to solve a relevant problem. Then have them try a similar problem, while you provide guidance and hints when needed. Then let them try problems on their own, using the prior problems are guides, while you give encouragement.
- Invite discussion and evaluation of their work by asking questions. “I can see you worked hard on this project. Can you tell me about it?”
- Demonstrate interest and acceptance so they develop an innate self-value that is not contingent on their work. “I enjoy working with you.” “You are so kind.”
- Communicate constructive observations about behavior (not character). “You listened without interrupting.”
- Give honest “praise” (acknowledgement and encouragement) that is specific, spontaneous, and well-deserved so that they gain a realistic understanding of their strengths and weaknesses and also see how their effort benefits them. “You have been trying so hard to understand this formula and now you can do these problems all by yourself.”
- Acknowledge their progress without judgement using clear, specific, and descriptive language. “I noticed you took the initiative to contact your teacher about your missing assignment. I am sure she appreciates your effort.
- Consistently check their mental health by watching for nonverbal cues, like a sudden isolation or loss of appetite, and asking easy to answer questions. “How have you been sleeping lately?” “Which friends did you interact with today?” “When is the last time you cried?”
- Invite mindfulness with daily morning/evening gratitude practices. “What are you thankful for?” “What are you looking forward to?” “What went well today?”
- Make laughter and fun a part of your daily routine. That is what kids remember the most.
Foster their INDEPENDENCE:
- Do not become a crutch by doing the work for them. Although it is quicker, easier, and less frustrating to do the work for them, it is of little help to them in the long-run. Help them learn how to do their own work. If you do supply an answer, be sure that they understand how you arrived at it and make sure you check for retention and understanding.
- Be a good listener. Be aware of both verbal and non-verbal clues. Listen carefully to all of the messages about their feelings, the progress being made, concerns with the subject matter and course requirements. If you end up doing most of the talking, something is wrong.
- Break large tasks into smaller more manageable parts with specific deadlines. For example, if they have a test on Friday, then they should study their notes on Monday, study past quizzes on Tuesday, make flashcards on Wednesday, and study the flashcards on Thursday. Have them predict the time necessary to complete each task and then determine an order of priority for these tasks among their other requirements.
- Build on their intrinsic motivation and resilience by allowing them to experience working hard, surmounting frustrations, and overcoming obstacles. It is difficult to watch them struggle or fail, but it is a necessary experience for them to be better prepared for (bigger) future challenges.
- Model and reward smart risk-taking. Step out of your comfort zone and join in on the learning instead of simply leading it. Accept failures as lessons.
- Teach them how to best structure their independent learning time. For example, remove time-wasting distractions, shift focus every 20 minutes, and get up and move every 1 hour. Use technology to assist by setting reminders and timers.
- Require them to utilize all available resources (textbooks, notes, internet searches, school resources, teachers, peers, etc.) before asking for your help.
- Help them maintain an open line of communication with their teachers, counselors, and peers. For instance, encouraging face-to-face questions and helping to compose emails from their student accounts.
- Comment rather than command. “I noticed that you had all your materials ready by the time I arrived.”
- Encourage them to set both big and small goals that are realistic yet challenging. “Circle how many math problems you think you can tackle in 10 minutes.”
- Encourage perseverance and creative problem-solving skills. “That method did not work out. What else could you try?”
- Ask open-ended questions. “What about this are you having trouble with?” “What do you think is the next step?”
- Give them choices and encourage critical thinking. “For the upcoming test, would you prefer to start by studying your notes or working on review questions? Why?”
- Encourage brainstorming and questions. “Which method would be best?” “What are your ideas?” “How many ways can you…?”
- Encourage dissenting views by allowing them to make up their own minds about important topics while also maintaining control so as to not get off-topic.
- Let them “teach,” sharing the information they have learned. “Can you explain this to me?” “What is the rule for this?” “How did we solve other problems like this?”
- Show them how study skills and learning strategies can be utilized across multiple curriculum and in real-life. For example, explain how what they are learning in math class will also be tested on the ACT/SAT or how the strategies they are learning for reading comprehension will help them better analyze information in their careers.
- Give them time and support to reflect on their work and progress. “What did we just do?” “Summarize what you have learned.” “Describe any challenges you overcame.”
Keep in mind that while the current crisis is (thankfully) just temporary, the lessons and skills that your children will acquire can last a lifetime. Let’s come out of this better than we started. “Chaos presents opportunity.”
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