Mothers of middle-school-aged children reported the highest levels of stress, loneliness, and emptiness, and also the lowest levels of life satisfaction and fulfillment.
-Hollee Becker, Parents.com
This is a sad truth. Moms with kids in middle school are experiencing a massive change in their role when it comes to parenting and it is confusing and sad. Your baby girl is becoming a young adult and the extrication from the young self can be excruciating. And it’s a roller coaster of emotions for both mom and daughter. Your daughter is experiencing all sorts of changes all at once, and it is confusing. One minute she wants you to hold her hand. The next minute you are the most annoying person on this planet.
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT VERSION OF YOUR DAUGHTER YOU’LL GET.
It’s important that you allow room for whatever version comes your way. While she is discovering her identity, your job is to unconditionally accept every version that she presents. (This doesn’t mean that you accept every behavior that she presents, though.) My youngest daughter went from rainbow tights and glittery skirts to gray sweatshirts and leggings. Sound familiar? If it doesn’t, it probably will soon.
YOUR ROLE HAS CHANGED.
One of the reasons that moms feel so alone and isolated during the middle school years is that they are unclear how to best support their daughter. There’s no sticking around for play dates. Forget about the classroom holiday parties. And trying to do crafts with her and her friends during sleepovers doesn’t get the same welcome reception. So where does that leave you? Where do you fit in?
SHE NEEDS YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER, JUST DIFFERENTLY.
When your daughter begins to push you away, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t need you. It simply means that you need to change how you support her. She needs a little bit more freedom and independence, but she still needs your guidance. She needs to take on more responsibilities, but she needs you cheering her on. And she needs to deal with tough situations, but she needs you to help her pick up the pieces.
WHILE SHE EXPANDS HER SUPPORT SYSTEM, SO SHOULD YOU.
Your daughter is biologically wired to begin seeking out secondary support systems beyond her parents. If you see her doing this, you can rejoice and know that she is doing exactly what she needs to do. But to support her through all of the tremendous ups and downs she’ll experience in the next few years, you need to create your own support network. You know the old saying about putting on your oxygen mask first, right? If your mental health is suffering, you won’t be able to support your daughter through her struggles.
You can’t take away all of the stressors in your teen’s life, but you can be mindful that you aren’t adding to their stress. You can help them to be aware of signs and symptoms of stress and encourage them to practice self-care. You can make your home a refuge from stress rather than a contributor to it.
THE MOM WISE CLUB WAS CREATED FOR THIS EXACT REASON AND SPECIFICALLY FOR MOMS OF MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRLS.
I’m not going to sugar coat it. Middle school is an extremely tough time when it comes to parenting. There are physical, emotional, and social changes of all sorts. The challenges at school increase with multiple teachers, more challenging academics, and different societal expectations. Throw in social media and romantic interests and you’ve got quite the emotional storm brewing.
LET ME GUIDE YOU THROUGH THESE INFORMATIVE YEARS.
I’ll use my personal experience and my professional knowledge to lead you safely through the minefield of adolescence. There’s no stopping the changes that are coming your way, but you’ll be prepared and supported through them.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE STRESSED, LONELY AND EMPTY LIKE THE MOMS IN THE STUDY.
TOGETHER, WE’VE GOT THIS!
With Heart,
Coach Sheri
P.S. I am very passionate about the Mom Wise Club and promise to be there for you every step of the way. The topics we will cover have been carefully considered. I personally invite you to join the Club. If after 30 days you aren’t happy with your decision, you can opt out of your membership. So what do you have to lose?
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