by guest blogger Dali from DaliTalks.com
When my (then) 5-year-old was bullied, I had no idea that there was an official way to submit a bullying complaint. I always thought that walking up to the teacher or sending her an email was the only way to report any incident related to bullying and schools.
But I was wrong. I. HAD. NO. IDEA. that there were certain official forms to fill out or that the school website or school district had an online incident reporting system.
I also thought that if I believed that the incident was grave enough, I could skip the school echelon and go straight to the school district. But, I was wrong. Instead, the school district told me they would simply kick my complaint down to the school level to allow them the opportunity to handle it.
This response ticked off because I felt that they weren’t understanding the severity and importance of my problem.
My MAMA BEAR mode was full-on and I was ready to fight for my kid!
But I had to simmer down and think calmly. It was hard to listen to what was being said to me because I didn’t like that even the principal, who was a very concerned educator and administrator didn’t seem like she was as worried about what had happened the way my husband and I were.
Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that had I submitted a very detailed bullying incident report, my request would have been handled much better especially if I had presented how many times my child was targetted by the bully.
So, from that experience, I launched myself into research mode. It took a few months into the new school year for the bullies to finally stop targetting my child as well as others.
Why? Because other parents did not present very good complaints either. So, because I don’t want you to go through the same thing, I created a detailed Bullying Incident Report template and I want you to use it.
Here are a few bullying tips you can use right away.
- Report it! No one will help if it’s not reported. Even when bullying happens in public spaces where people witness it, no one will read anyone’s mind and know that you are seeking help. I know that some situations are no brainers. If it was bad and obvious, people who care will not wait for anyone to report an incident. They’ll probably start taking action to stop the bully and to get help for the targetted person. But, it’s more powerful when YOU or YOUR CHILD makes an official report!
- Record EVERYTHING. Keep a log of every detail you can think of about the incident. Keep dates, names, times, who you or your child reported the incident to and what was said to you regarding a solution.
- Assure your child. Let your child know that he/she did not warrant getting bullied. A lot of kids start to believe that they deserved, attracted or caused bullying against them. They start to blem themselves especially after NO ONE has stood up for them.
- Instead of going on defense mode, go on TEAMWORK mode. Most school administrators and teachers want parents and kids to be as involved as possible. That makes their job a lot easier to come up with a solution that the parents and students will be happy with. Also, their reputation will feel it as well as their school’s rate of incidents.
There are many other details I’d love to share with you about effective reporting practices, but all-in-all, the best way to help your child is to speak to him/her and let him/her know that you will do your best to get the help needed and that he/she will be safe.
If you’d like to learn how to get the best use out of the Bullying Incident Report you can access an online workshop How To File A Bullying Report That Gives Results, and 4 Types of Bullying.
Guest blogger,
Dali from DaliTalks.com
dalitalks@gmail.com
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