As a professional who works with teens, people frequently ask me what signs they should be looking for in their teens regarding depression and risk of suicide.
We’ve all seen the lists that circulate:
🖋Withdrawing from life
🖋Grades take a dive
🖋Poor hygiene
🖋Giving away things
🖋Lack of emotions
🖋Talking about death
🖋Comments about “wanting out”
The truth is that there aren’t always signs that we can easily see. Many teens that I talk to have a mask of “fine”. If you ask a teen “how are you doing?” their first response is usually “fine”. Inside, many teens are a tumultuous mess but they have perfected the art of “fine”-ness. They are actually feeling stressed, lonely, overwhelmed, inadequate, and unsure of who they are and how they fit in.
📊The latest statistics in Washington state show that 21% of 10th graders have considered suicide. That’s 46,000 kids. Sobering.
WHY DON’T THEY ASK FOR HELP? By nature, teens want to exert their INDEPENDENCE. This means that they want to handle situations on their own no matter how serious. With their close friends and family, they might not bring up their depressive feelings because they don’t want to BURDEN others with it. And for teens who have a pretty good life, they feel GUILTY that they are sad despite their good fortune. And last, but probably most common, they are EMBARASSED and ASHAMED that they are struggling.
Many teens perfect the art of functional depression. They rise above their depression on a daily basis and lead a productive life, make friends, keep their grades up, hit the winning home run. They keep their struggle with depression close to the chest. It builds and churns and festers. Its strength grows and begins to consume. And in a moment of hopelessness, it can win.
Our minds can’t comprehend and our hearts hurt.
Reach out to your teen. Don’t wait for them to reach out to you.
If you are worried about your teen and need guidance, please call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
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