While being interviewed on a radio show, the host asked me, “What can grandparents do to help their teen granddaughters while they are going through tough times?” This was a fantastic question.
The beauty of grandparents is that they don’t have to bother with discipline, academics, attire, or dating. Grandparents can provide unconditional love without having to worry about all the rest of the stuff! When hanging with grandparents, teens don’t worry about being cool, asserting their independence, or defending their choices. Wouldn’t we all love to have a safe space like this in life?!?
Because teens can let down their guard when they are with their grandparents, they will often listen to grandmotherly advice. Sharing stories of your youth can remind your granddaughter that young girls have gone through the same doubts and struggles for many years. Make sure you share stories and thoughts, though, rather than preach at them. Talk about dating. Talk about struggles you had with your parents or as a parent. Then you can top it off with, “Is it still like that now?”
What you should avoid as a grandparent is being part of a family argument. If your granddaughter is having a fight with her Mom or Dad, let her vent. You can give some advice, but don’t talk badly about the parents. This would likely not end well and would only make the fight worse. Also, try not to be the one to enforce the rules. That’s what parents are for.
Bottom line? Be there for your grandkids. Spend time with them. Nurture them. Hug them. Praise them. And admire them. My grandmother never raised her voice to me, rarely lectured me, but always gave me hugs, Pringles, and chocolate chip cookies. My Grannie made a huge impact on my life and my character. So hug or text or Facetime your grandchild today!
I realize that there are some grandparents who have been so kind as to take on the parenting role for their children. If that’s you, what an amazing choice you have made. Most of this article is still applicable except for not enforcing the rules. When parenting, the rules are there to keep the safe and headed down the right path. You go Grandma!
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