If you are an organizer, you are probably pumping your fists and excited about the title of this article. Personally, I have three labeling machines and thoroughly enjoy the times I get to use them. Just this week, I organized my entire collection of beads. Coming up with a label for each section was easy for some beads and difficult for others. The easy ones were pearls, rock chips, and crystals. Then it took a little more thought that led to round, sparkly, and square. But then, I had some left that I wasn’t sure what to label them. They ended up with the label of odd.
Labeling is clearly a good thing for my bead collection. It is not such a good thing for our kids, though. Our kids love to live in their labels. They may not hear when you tell them to take out the trash, but they definitely hear you when you are talking about them and. It truly affects them and their inner voice. I’m definitely guilty about labeling my own children. when people ask me about them, I talk about my artist, my dancer, and my actress. My youngest daughter called me out on this. She said that she likes to act, but it doesn’t define who she is because she likes a lot of different things. (I just love it when my kids call me out on stuff!) While I was labeling my kids according to their interests, there are many other ways we can label our children. I hear parents talk about their quiet child, their smart child, their organized child, their kind child, their athletic child, etc. The list goes on and on.
Why is living the label an issue? For our teens, who are discovering who they are, this can be limiting and stress-inducing. If you label your child as the athletic one, he might feel that he isn’t smart. If you label your daughter as the smart one, she might feel that she needs to get a 4.5 GPA. They can also feel the need to fulfill the labels you give them to please you. Our children can also receive labels from other sources such as teachers and coaches. One famous example is Einstein. He was labeled as a dumb child when he was young, and he was kicked out of school. Thank goodness he broke through that label and proved everyone wrong. So let’s try our best to allow our children to discover their own labels.
As Einstein said,
“If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
[My kids said the meaning of this quote isn’t clear. When my consultants speak up, I listen. It basically means if you label your daughter a fish but she’s a cow, she may try so hard to swim when she should be focusing on how to moo.]
With Heart,
Coach Sheri
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