The United States are going through a rough time and our kids are watching it play out on social media 24/7. In every era and in every society, you have people that are haters. Their hearts are dark and filled with anger. This is nothing new. The despicable march in Charlottesville is a prime example. So why, all of a sudden, are we seeing an upsurge in the outpouring of unfiltered and unfounded hatred?
I had an interesting discussion about the effects of social media on society with Tom Swanson, head of Organization Growth & Outreach for Foundry 10. There were a few poignant realizations that we had. This new showing of hate groups demonstrates the power of social media. Social media connects us on so many different levels. We are able to see pictures of friends and family, to keep up with acquaintances from school and various jobs and to find out about the latest innovations. We are also able to connect with like-minded people. This is fantastic if you are an aspiring artist, a parent educator, a teacher, or have a certain political affiliation. Where the problem arises is when extremist groups are able to connect over social media. In person, people with fanatical viewpoints are given daily reminders that their ideas aren’t well-received. When they spew hatred, people around them will reject those views. When hate speech is shared on the internet though, people will ALWAYS find others that will agree with them and rile them up. They will feed their hate and validate their views. Then the hatred festers and grows.
The online hate groups create momentum for these movements. Then there is the ease of travel in the modern era. It doesn’t take much effort to hop in your car, a train, an airplane and head to a different state for a rally of your like-minded haters. It gives the illusion that their hatred is more mainstream, more pervasive, and more powerful.
Let us remember, though, that good will triumph over evil. Action will triumph over reaction. And love conquers all.
So why am I, a teen life coach and parent educator, writing about this? Well, I’m seeing the emotional hardship that our teens are going through. They do not know how to respond to the current political climate. And as a parent, it’s tough to know how to support them through these times. Here a few recommendations to get you started:
Be a safe, emotional space for them. Let them see your vulnerability but also be their emotional rock.
Be mindful of your language, and no I don’t mean profanity. Be mindful of creating a doomsday picture for your kids. This is the world they are inheriting! You don’t need to sugar coat it, but keep it realistic.
Be empowered, and empower your teen. If you are pissed off, figure out how to make a difference. Brainstorm with your teen about what you can do to change the societal landscape. While a march can send a message, it’s the actions afterwards that will make the change.
Be their sounding board. Talking about it at home gives them practice for talking about it with their peers. When your teen goes back to school, this will be a topic that will be discussed by many. As I always say, minimize lectures and maximize conversations. Let them hear their own voice.
Be prepared. Last year there was an uptick in racial slurs, swastikas, off-color jokes. So be prepared for your own teen to be exposed to these things. Have a discussion with your teen about how to deal with these things if they come up. Give them a short and easy phrase they can use. Some examples are “That’s not cool”, “That’s not funny”, or “That’s just wrong”. No lecture needed.
Reach out to me if you need support around this issue. It’s not easy, parents, but we’ll get through this together. More than ever, our teens need to see the virtues of love and patience. It all starts in the home.
With Heart,
Coach Sheri
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